93 Clean Jokes That Are Actually Funny! 2022- VyWhy

Last updated on 2022-06-01 13:38:18

2022-02-11

Do you want to have some fun? Don't worry, we got you! These clean jokes that are actually funny will make you giggle all night long!

Whether you’re sharing a burst of laughter with a friend or entertaining your kids, clean jokes make every conversation better. This massive list, which includes everything from the finest clean jokes for adults to clean jokes of the day for kids, is perfect for everyone. Share these clean jokes that are actually funny and have a good time.

Funny Clean Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Looking for a hilarious joke of the day? Sometimes we just need a good and humorous joke to have some fune. Thus, we’ve compiled the funniest clean jokes ever that will make you laugh so hard! Check it out now!

What do dentists call X-rays?
Tooth pics.

What do dentists call X-rays? Tooth pics.

Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?
Because he had a vowel movement.

Laugh more: Funny Poop Jokes

What time do you go to the dentist’s?
At tooth-hurty.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”

If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while.
They’re usually 90 degrees.

I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

Laugh more: Funny Baseball Jokes

Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.

What did the nose say to the finger?
“Quit picking on me!”

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.

Why can you never trust an atom’s story?
Because it makes up everything.

Laugh more: Funny Chemistry Jokes

Where does bad light end up?
In prism.

How much does a neutron pay for electricity?
No charge.

Why are electrons never invited to parties?
They’re so negative.

What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”

When do jokes become dad jokes?
When the punchline is apparent.

Laugh more: Funny Dad Jokes

What did the paper say to the pencil?
“Write on!”

How did the bullet lose its job?
It got fired.

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired.

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
That’s just how I roll.

Why did the kid throw his clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.

What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hi, bud!”

Laugh more: Funny Flower Puns

How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, “Just you wait!”

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

Why did the picture go to prison?
Because it was framed!

Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed!

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

Want to hear a roof joke?
The first one’s on the house.

Why is no one friends with Dracula?
Because he’s a pain in the neck.

Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.

Why were they called the Dark Ages?
Because there were lots of knights.

What did one toilet say to the other?
“You look flushed.”

I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, the signs were all there.

Where do sick fish go?
To the dock.

Laugh more: Funny Fish Jokes

Where do sick fish go? To the dock.

Long Clean Jokes That Are Actually Funny

Some jokes are only for adults, but if you need a joke that is suited for all ages. Then you’re on the right page because we have a list of clean jokes that are funny! Enjoy reading.

My friend once called a few house painters to his house for some work. He wanted them to paint his porch.

After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete.


Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it is not really a Porsche.

I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. The waiter recommended that we try their special coffee.

We agreed and soon the coffee arrived.

As we drink the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud.

Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately.


The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, “Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee!”

Laugh more: Funny Coffee Jokes

There is a skeleton in our neighborhood who always knows that something bad might happen way before it actually happens.
He has actually become quite famous and when a TV crew interviewed about the reason behind this ability, the skeleton finally disclosed his secret: he could feel the bad vibes in his bones.

A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table.

When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, “Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles.”

After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn’t lie because God is watching.

Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about them.


When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.

I was in the library once when a man walked in asking for some ham and cheese. The librarian politely told him that he was in a library.

The man first apologized and then whispered to the librarian, “Can I please have some ham and cheese?”

Hilarious Jokes For Adults

Are you tired and stressed from work? Seatback, relax and take a look at these hilarious jokes adults would love. These funniest jokes for adults can make your stress go away!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.

Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!

Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.

Laugh more: Funny Animal Jokes

What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.

Why should you never trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired.

Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderpants.

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.
No pun in ten did.

How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet.

Where does a waitress with only one leg work?
IHOP.

What does a house wear?
Address!

Why are toilets always so good at poker?
They always get a flush.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.

Laugh more: Funny Disney Jokes

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, ‘What’s your favorite kind of music?’
The other replies, ‘I’m a big metal fan.’

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is…
Wait, where are we again?

Laugh more: Funny Retirement Jokes

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is… Wait, where are we again?

I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

Laugh more: Funny Cow Jokes

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles.

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Short Jokes For Adults

Being an adult means more work and more responsibility. You deserve to have fun, that’s why we’ve compiled these funny clean jokes for adults that will make you laugh out loud!

Why were they called the “dark ages?”
Because there were a lot of knights.

What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.

Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
They don’t have the right koala-fications.

Why aren’t koalas considered bears? They don’t have the right koala-fications.

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You probably think it’s “R” but it is the “C”.

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

Laugh more: Funny Bar Jokes

How many teddy bears never want to eat anything?
Because they’re always stuffed.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.

Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold?
The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.

What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
“Make me one with everything.”

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.

How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.

Laugh more: Funny Pizza Jokes

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool.

Why don’t blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs.

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get along little doggie.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.

What did the duck say when it bought some lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”

I tried to win a suntanning competition.
But all I got was bronze.

How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit?
Approximately 1 GB.

Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels.

Laugh more: Funny Bagel Puns

What do you call malware on a Kindle?
A bookworm.

What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.

Why are crabs so bad at sharing?
Because they’re all shellfish.

What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.

I started a new job as a tailor last week.
It’s been sew-sew.

What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

What kind of shoes does a spy wear?
Sneakers.

What kind of shoes does a spy wear? Sneakers.

Edgy Clean Jokes

If you’re looking for some fun, then you might want to check out our list of edgy clean jokes that will make your day more enjoyable!

How do you determine the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down its genes.

Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night .”
Kid 1: “As if.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”
Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”
Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”

Summary

There you have it, the funniest clean jokes. Clean jokes make everything better. It makes a good conversation starter, and it is an easy banter amongst friends and families. Crack these jokes and have a lot of fun!

We hope you’ve enjoyed and laughed along with us! Here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter:

Cat Jokes 2022: Funny Jokes and Amazing Cat Facts

16-04-2022 · Too funny that jokes about cats can be so redundant. But there’s no such thing as too much when it’s about cats, is it? If the Earth was flat, cats would push everything off it. I think I have OCD… Obsessive Cat Disorder. How do you know if an Asian robbed you? The homework is done and the cat is gone. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire.

16-04-2022

Search for cats and you’ll find them everywhere. Yes, dogs are cute but common’, cats are really funny. Cats are irresistibly entertaining with their effortless moves.

They sleep in the impossible places, play with the silliest things, and jump to the weirdest platforms. And who can resist these funny creatures? Actually, every day, we share 3.8 million cat pictures and videos. Imagine? That explains why cats are either sleeping or making viral videos.

We have also collected the best funny jokes for kids and family.

So if you’re looking for funny cat jokes, we have compiled the best for you. Hilarious cat jokes with photos that will definitely make you laugh. And because we love cats too, we have included cat fun facts you might find very amusing.

So scroll down and let’s start enjoying these jokes about kittens.

Cat Jokes Question and Answer

Of course, jokes wouldn’t be complete without a question and answer. So let’s not wait anymore and get into these jokes on cats.

Question: In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?

Answer: When it’s raining cats and dogs!

Laugh more: Funny Weather Jokes

Question: Why do cats always get their way?

Answer: They are very purr-suasive!

Question: How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant?

Answer: Her test was pawsitive.

Question: When a cat doesn’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead?

Answer: “See ya litter!”

Question: What song does a cat like best?

Answer: Three Blind Mice.

Question: Why are cats better than babies?

Answer: Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

Question: What do you call a cat that loves bowling?

Answer: An alley cat!

Laugh more here: Awesome Bowling Jokes

Question: What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?

Answer: One is a pause at the end of a clause and the other has claws at the end of its paws.

Question: What does a cat do after it wakes up in the morning?

Answer: It goes back to sleep.

Question: If there are 10 cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many cats are left?

Answer: None, because they were copycats.

What do cats say when they get hurt

Question: What should you use to comb a cat?

Answer: A catacomb!

Question: Why can’t cats play poker in the jungle?

Answer: Too many cheetahs!

Question: What types of cats purr the best?

Answer: Purrr-sians!

Question: Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family?

Answer: “Let us prey.”

Question: How do cats stop crimes?

Answer: Claw enforcement!

Question: What kind of sports car does a cat drive?

Answer: A furr-ari.

Question: When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

Answer: When you’re a mouse.

Question: What do you call a cat that works at Christmas?

Answer: Santa claws.

Read more: Christmas Jokes To Keep You Laughing All Season!

Question: What is a cat’s favorite movie?

Answer: The Sound of Mew-sic!

Question: How is cat food sold?

Answer: Usually, purr the can!

Why do cats hate laptops

Question: Why do cats always win video games?

Answer: Because they have nine lives!

Laugh more: Funny Video Game Jokes

Question: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?

Answer: Just kitten!

Question: Why are kittens actually excellent bosses?

Answer: They have great littership.

Question: Why do cats hate laptops?

Answer: They don’t have a mouse.

Question: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?

Answer: She had mittens.

Question: What’s smarter than a talking cat?

Answer: A spelling bee.

Question: What cat likes living in water?

Answer: An octo-puss!

Question: Why can’t cats play go fish with each other?

Answer: They get too distracted by the fish.

Question: What’s a mouse’s least favourite song?

Answer: What’s up pussycat!

Question: What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?

Answer: Good Mousekeeping!

Question: What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

Answer: Chocolate mouse!

Question: Why are cats great singers?

Answer: Because they’re very mew-sical!

What kind of sports car does a cat have

Question: What’s a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse?

Answer: Catch!

Question: What do cats say when they get hurt?

Answer: “Me-OW!”

Question: Why did the kitty get an “A” on their English assignment?

Answer: They properly used an independent claws.

Laugh more here: Hilarious British Jokes

Question: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

Answer: I’m paw!

Question: What did the cat say when the mouse got away?

Answer: “You’ve got to be kitten me!”

Question: What’s a cat favorite dessert?

Answer: Mice cream cone

Question: What’s a cat’s favorite color?

Answer: Purr-ple!

Question: What kind of musician does the cat want to be?

Answer: A purr-cussionist.

Question: Why couldn’t the cat read a book?

Answer: He was il-litter-ate!

Question: What’s it called when all the treats are gone?

Answer: A cat-astrophe.

Question: What should you say to your cat when you leave the house?

Answer: “Have a mice day!”

Question: What’s a cat favorite game?

Answer: A mouse trap.

Question: Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?

Answer: The re-tail store!

Question: What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?

Answer: Hisss-tory!

Question: What’s a cats favourite button on a remote?

Answer: Paws.

Question: Why was the cat so agitated?

Answer: Because he was in a bad mewd!

Question: Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Answer: Because of its bark!

Question: What do cats love to do in the morning?

Answer: Read the mews-paper!

Question: What did one flea say to the other?

Answer: “Shall we walk or take the cat?”

Funny Cat Jokes

Aren’t cats so adorable and funny? Too funny that jokes about cats can be so redundant. But there’s no such thing as too much when it’s about cats, is it?

If the Earth was flat, cats would push everything off it.

I think I have OCD…
Obsessive Cat Disorder.

How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
The homework is done and the cat is gone.

Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire.
Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

I had to get rid of my boyfriend, he was allergic to cats.

Letting the cat out of the bag is easier than putting it back in.

Cats spend half their life asleep

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Cats are like cookies… You can never have just one.

What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies!

If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared, what would be the most difficult thing to explain about life today?

“I possess a device in my pocket that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers.”

When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face.
Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

A tomcat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence one evening. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent-up passion and purred, “I’d die for you!” The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eyelids and asked, “How many times?”

Cat’s ears are built to allow the human voice to go in one ear and out the other.

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween… now he won’t come when I call him.

Cats spend half their life asleep and the other half making viral videos.

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods… They have not forgotten.

A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

If sleeping were an Olympic sport, my cat would win gold.

Laugh more: Funny Sports Jokes

Short Cat Jokes

Looking for more than just cat jokes? Here are some more short cat jokes.

What happened to your cat? He was running around the village like crazy earlier.

“He got castrated yesterday and now he’s canceling all of his dates.”

A man feels terrible after running over a cat, he walks up to a lady’s door.

She answers and he says, “I’m so sorry, I ran over your cat. I’d like to replace it.” The woman says, “Okay, how good are you at catching mice?”

A pair of mice were walking when a cat suddenly jumped out to attack them. The older mouse shouts “BARK” at the cat and the cat runs away. “See?”

The older mouse says, “That’s why it’s so important to learn a foreign language.”.

What’s the difference between a man and a cat?

One eats a lot, is lazy, and doesn’t care who brings the food. The other is a pet.

The first cat said, “Meow.”

The second said, “Meow.”

The third said, “Meow, meow”.

The first cat said, “Don’t change the subject.”

Don't change the subject

Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning? Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed. Mom No. 1: How does that help?

Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.

FUNNY Cat Puns That Are Purr-fect For Cat Lovers! 2022

08-02-2022 · Our funny cat phrases and sayings are perfect captions to your posts. My cat wants to start a career in Claw Enforcement. Madame Mewurie pioneered the science of radio-cativity. My cat loves to listen to any music composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mewzart. The Ninja Mewtant Turtles are pawsome.

08-02-2022

Are you a cat lover? Cats bring so much joy to people because they make great pets. Compared to dogs, cats are very independent, low maintenance, and of course cost less. It is no doubt that they can lower stress and anxiety and so are our puns. Turn your bad day into a good one with our best cat puns.

We also have compiled Cat Jokes for you to enjoy. 

Funny Cat Puns Jokes

Cat lovers, get ready with our puns about cats. These funny and cute cat puns will make your day! Relax and have a great vibe with our amusing puns. 

What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote?
Paws.

What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote

What do you call a cat who loves to bowl?
An alley cat!

What is a well-read cat’s favorite book?
The Great Catsby!

How do cats make peace after a fight?
They hiss and make up.

Why did the cat eat the lemons?
He was a sourpuss!

How is cat food sold?
Usually, purr the can!

What did the cat say when he passed another cat?
Pawden me, I’ve got to get by.

What did the cat say when he heard a pun?
That was hissterical!

How is your cat today?
She’s feline fine!

In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
When it’s raining cats and dogs!

In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
A puss in boots!

Laugh more: FUNNY Cowboy Jokes

If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
Their paws.

What type of cat works for the Red Cross?
A first aid cat!

Why do cats make terrible storytellers?
They only have one tail.

Why do cats always win video games?
Because they have nine lives!

Laugh more: Funny Video Game Jokes

What’s a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse?
Catch!

What did the cat say when it was confused?
“I’m purr-plexed!”

There were four cats on a windowsill and one jumped into the yard. How many were left?
None, they were all a bunch of copycats!

Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water

What word do millennial cats overuse?
Litter-ally.

What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?
A cat-has-trophy!

What do cats wear to sleep?
Pawjamas!

Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse!

Read more: Nerdy Jokes

What should you use to comb a cat?
A catacomb!

What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?
Good Mousekeeping!

Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
Because it littered.

How do you know a cat is agitated?
He’s having a hissy fit!

What do cats like to eat on a hot day?
A mice-cream cone!

Laugh more: Funny Kid Food Jokes and Puns

What do cats like to eat on a hot day

Why did the cat wear a fancy dress?
She was feline fine!

What did the cat say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
Let’s spend furrever together!

What’s a cat’s most important trait?
Its purrsonality!

How would you describe most puns?
Seriously clawful.

What did that cat say when she didn’t want to commit to a date?
It’s a pawsibility that I’ll go.

What’s a cat’s favorite thing to draw?
A self pawtrait!

What do cats love to do in the morning?
Read the mewspaper!

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark!

What did the cat say when her friend wouldn’t believe her?
Listen, I’m fur real!

What did the cat say when her friend wouldn’t believe her

Funny Police Cat Puns

It is interesting how people can relate police and cat. So, if you are curious about how they do it, have a look at our compilation. Share this list of police meow puns and laugh hard with your friends!

The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.

Why are police dogs called K9?
Because if they were police cats, they would be K10.

Someone broke into my house…
Played my trumpet and left paw prints all over the place…The police say it was probably a cat bugler!!

Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
Because it littered.

What are cat police officers called?
Claw enforcement.

What do you call a cat that gets caught by the police?
The purrpatrator!

What do you call a cat that gets caught by the police

A-meowsing Kitten Puns

Of course, we have the best kitty puns. Kittens are the cutest, right? Their eyes are so big and adorable but they require a lot of attention to prevent them from getting into trouble. So, if you feel like losing it, have a look at our kitten puns. 

Laugh more: Best dad jokes of all time

Are you ready to read a bunch of amazing cat puns?
You better be, because we’re not kitten around here!

What did the adult cat say to the kitten?
You’re infurior to me.

What does a cat have that no other animal has?
Kittens.

What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain!

What do you call a pile of kittens

Funny Cat Sayings with Meow

Here’s another compilation for you; our cat funny sayings. Got an adorable photo of your cat that needs a caption? We can help you with that. Our funny cat phrases and sayings are perfect captions to your posts. 

My cat wants to start a career in Claw Enforcement.

Madame Mewurie pioneered the science of radio-cativity.

My cat loves to listen to any music composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mewzart.

The Ninja Mewtant Turtles are pawsome.

You have to overlook that kitten, she’s a mewbie.

My cat saw a UFO and reported it to MEWFON.

My cat saw a UFO and reported it to MEWFON

My cat locked meowt of the house again!

Your cat tries to a-mews me.

I wasn’t happy when my cat took meowt in a snowstorm.

I always wish my kitty a Happy Mew Year!

Related: Funny Holiday Jokes for a good Laugh (Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July)

It was Isaac Mewton who first explained the fur ball.

If your cat is finicky about her toys, try letting her shop the pet store cat-alog.

My cat is always whining that he’s too paw to afford a date.

My cat is always whining that he's too paw to afford a date

Extra: Cute Cat Pun Names

Trying to think of some cat names for your cat’s little kittens? We have some ideas for you! Take a look at our cat pun names. 

  1. Don Kitty-ote
  2. Dwight D. Eisenpurr
  3. Fidel Catstro
  4. Genghis Khat
  5. Giacomeow Catsanova
  6. Hairy Houdini
  7. Juan Pounce de Lion
  8. Abraham Lynxing
  9. Aslan Furrying
  10. Bruce Flea
  11. Catpernipuss
  12. Chairman Meow Zedong
  13. Charles Kittens
  14. Cleocatra
  15. William Shakespurr

Summary

Feline great already? We hope you enjoyed the cat puns that we have for you! These puns are easy to tell and remember so you can use them as ice breakers for new friends.

We know that having pets are not always easy so we have put together these puns to help you have fun!

Looking for more? We have more in store for you!

  • Dog Puns
  • Dog Jokes
  • Cow Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Math Jokes
103 Hilarious Bagel Puns That Are Perfect With Coffee! 2022

26-03-2022 · Jokes Quotes Factory > Puns > 103 Hilarious Bagel Puns That Are Perfect With Coffee! Puns ... 47 Coffee Puns and Jokes – Some are Roasted others are Bitter. 20/03/2022. Jokes. 52 Udderly Funny Milk Jokes. 05/03/2022. Puns. 122 COOL Ice Puns That Are Perfect Icebreakers. 04/03/2022.

26-03-2022

Breakfast with family is a dream of everyone. We know that it sounds so simple, but life makes us so busy that sometimes we can’t do this kind of thing. Well, if you still have a chance to have breakfast with your family, fresh, hot bagels are the best breakfast! We have compiled a list of bagel puns that you can share with families. These bagel puns will make your mouth water for more!

You might want to take a look at these other food jokes:

  • Funny jokes about pizza
  • Funny pizza puns
  • Funny burger jokes
  • Milk jokes

Hilarous Bagel Puns

Many people have a love and hate relationship with bagels because let’s face it, it is not always perfect. Bagels have the tendency to get flavorless and hard to eat. Good thing we have compiled the best puns. Laugh about it with our bagel puns!

Every religious person should have at least a bagel in their breakfast every day because bagels are a holy food!

Every religious person should have at least a bagel in their breakfast every day because bagels are a holy food!

I left my bag of flour and pet fish in my apartment when there was a fire,
I went back in to find a smoked salmon bagel.

Laugh more: Funny Fish Jokes

My bagel friend was really sad after his breakup,
he kept saying he felt like he had a hole in his heart.

I visited the zoo after a long time and to my utter surprise,
I saw a bagel in a cage. I think it was bread in captivity!

The one thing that a greedy person has in common with a bagel is that they both want everything.

Bagels love costume parties and dressing up on their favorite holiday as they have Halloween in the middle!

My wife and I had a strange conversation yesterday. She asked if I wanted some raisin bagels,
but I was bewildered as I didn’t know it was possible to raise bagels!

The croissants decided to visit the zoo with bagels and donuts.
They were of the opinion that it would be a lovely experience for the hole family!

Laugh more: Funny Animal Jokes

No one likes visiting a bagel shop.
It is a very crumby place to work there!

An astrophysicist found a wormhole in his bagel.
He thought and laughed on his own that he would usually find an Einstein-Rosen bagel rather than a Cinnamon-Rosen bagel!

I once saw a French tourist who wore a scarf in the form of a bagel.
He complained that it was plain in the neck!

I once saw a French tourist who wore a scarf in the form of a bagel. He complained that it was plain in the neck!

It’s best to keep all things safe.
So the best way to protect all your bagels is to put them in a confectionery box and put lox on it.

I visited the doctor, and he prescribed me a new diet plan, so I have decided to eat only bagels and donuts from today.
My doctor has asked me to eat only hole foods!

Spirits have a strange craving for confectionaries and desserts.
The favorite dressing on a bagel for all ghosts is scream cheese!

There was a huge conflict between bagels and donuts. Donuts claimed that their jobs were stolen by bagels.

However, bagels contended that they needed something to earn their bread and butter!

The bagel and a pastor were having a big quarrel about purity and holiness.
The bagel angrily replied, “I am holier than thou”.

The bagel took part in an election, but he lost it.
He was, unfortunately, a part of the schmear campaign!

Bagel Sandwich Puns

Want more bagel humor? We got you! Check out our compilation of bagel puns that will blow your mind. Bagels are perfect with coffee so don’t forget to get one while sharing these with friends. 

The camper ate what kind of bagel?
A winnebago.

The camper ate what kind of bagel? A winnebago.

The toaster oven has two bagels in it and one says “Wow, it’s hot in here.”
And the other says “Oh my gosh, a talking bagel!”

Recently, I came across a Frenchman wearing a bagel as a scarf.
It was a real pain in the neck, he said.

It’s hard to trust bagels, and you shouldn’t either.
They seem seedy at times!

Essentially, bagels are just acoustic donuts.

Just crust me.

Prisoners are served only plain bagels as the authorities are concerned they may pick up the lox!

Man A: I found a bandaid in my breakfast!
Man B: You ordered everything bagel, right?

Ever since I became a pilot, I can eat only one type of bagel.
Plain.

My friends in Germany complained that they couldn’t find a good bagel anywhere;
well, who’s to blame?

What kind of bagel can fly?
A plane bagel!

What is the name of a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
Hole Foods.

What is the name of a store that sells only bagels and donuts? Hole Foods.

I got fired today because a customer wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese,
I told them we only accept cash.

Laugh more: Funny Cheese Puns

In this world, there are two kinds of people:
those who love bagels and those who lie.

A store that sells only bagels and donuts is known as a hole foods store.

Whenever bagels celebrate,
they propose a toast.

The bagel is holey, so it will go to heaven.

As a religious person, you should have a bagel at least once a day for breakfast,
since bagels are a holy food!

To screw in a lightbulb, how many bagels do you need?
Toaster ovens don’t have light bulbs.

How do you describe someone who stands on one foot, eats a bagel and a banana?
A balanced breakfast.

Laugh more: Funny Banana Jokes

When his friend was hit by a bus as he crossed the street, what did the bagel say?
Oh, Crumbs!

The two of us are total baegoals!

You’re the best, my one and only bae-gel!

Bagel Pick Up Lines

Be the sweetest and pick up some bagels for breakfast for your bae! These bagel love puns are perfect pick-up lines to use as notes. They’ll love it! 

Are you a plane bagel?
Because I like you with nothing on.

Are you a plane bagel? Because I like you with nothing on.

If you can be smoother than the cream cheese on my bagel, then give it a shot!

What do you call a bagel that can fly?
A plain bagel.

What do ghosts put on bagels?
Scream cheese.

Laugh more: Funny Cheese Jokes

Why did the bagel lose the election?
Because she was the victim of a schmear campaign.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels.

What did the husband bagel tell his wife on their honeymoon?
We are bae-goals!

What food did the husband seagull lovingly gift his wife?
Bae-gel.

What do you call a Jamaican bagel?
Cinnamon.

Do you Like Bagels?
Because You’re Bae-goals.

Laugh more: Cheesy Pickup Lines

Funny Bagel Jokes

We have a lot of bagel jokes including the classic pumpernickel bread joke. Take a look and have some fun with it!

Why was the bagel called lazy?
He was slow to rise.

Why was the bagel called lazy? He was slow to rise.

What did the bagel dough say to the lonely baker?
It’s nice to be kneaded.

What do you call a seagull which loves baked goods and only flies over a bay?
Baygull!

What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda.

Laugh more: Funny Star Wars Jokes

I recently read an interesting bagel trivia. One kind of bagel was first sold in a petrol pump and could be got in exchange for a specific coin.

Guess that is why they are called pumpernickel bagels.

If a man goes camping, he generally eats what kind of a bagel?
A Winnebago-l.

Laugh more here: Funny Camping Jokes

Why did the court not register the case against the bagels?
Because there was a hole in the argument against them!

What kind of a bagel did the smart man eat?
He ate an everything special bagel!

What is a bagel that hails from Jamaica is called?
Cinna-mon Bagel!

What kind of cheese does Tom Hanks put in his bagel?
Philadelphia cheese!

What kind of cheese does Tom Hanks put in his bagel? Philadelphia cheese!

What did the bagel say when his friend was hit by a bus while crossing the road?
Oh, Crumbs!

What kind of cheese does Bruce Lee put in his bagel?
Cream Chi.

What kind of pain is worse than donut stings?
When a Bagel bites.

What is the favorite type of bagel for a mathematician?
A three-dimensional plain bagel!

Laugh more: Funny Math Jokes

What does one have when he’s eating fruits and bagels while standing on just one leg?
A balanced breakfast!

What kind of bagel did shamanist Carlos Castaneda prefer to eat?
He liked the Astral plain ones!

Which author did the bagels have to read if they took philosophy in college?
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Bagel.

Laugh more: Funny College Jokes

What is a bagel called if it isn’t free and will have to be bought with money?
It is a pay-gel!

Where does a bagel go to get tanned and hot?
To a toaster.

What is a dad’s favorite flavor of bagel?
Pop-i seeds.

Bagel One Liners

We have compiled the best bagel one-liners you can find. Take a look at the funniest bagel one liners that will make you laugh out loud!

If Superman came from the planet of bagels,
his original name would have been Bag-El.

If Superman came from the planet of bagels, his original name would have been Bag-El.

The common thing about bagels and holidays is that they are both toasted!

The most common bagel which is loved by pilots and aerospace engineers is the plane bagel.

A blonde walks into a library,
goes up to the librarian’s desk, and says loudly, “I’ll have a coffee and a bagel”.

Everyone frowns along with the librarian and the librarian quietly replies,
This is a library!

The blonde replies with a whisper,
I would like a coffee and a bagel!

How do you hold a bagel back?
You put lox on it.

What does a bagel do when it is locked out of its house?
Call a loxsmith.

What do ghosts put on their bagels?
Scream Cheese.

It’s fri-nally bagel Friday.
I don’t work on Friday, I make appearances just for the bagels.

What does a bagel call its grandfather?
Poppy!

Laugh more: Funny Retirement Jokes

What does a bagel call its grandfather? Poppy!

Bagel Captions For Instagram

Looking for Instagram captions to your beautiful photos? Feel free to use these bagel captions for your Instagram post.

Going into the weekend as smooth as the cream cheese on my bagel.

I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need a bagel.

You’re my first, my last, and my everything bagel.

Too many people look at the holes in their lives and miss the glorious bagel right in front of them.

Happiness is fresh bagels and cream cheese.

The only circle of trust I have is my bagel.

I’m only here because I was told there would be bagels.

You are my everything bagel.

If there aren’t bagels, did Friday even happen?

Life without you is like a bagel without cream cheese.

I haven’t been this excited about bagel Friday since last bagel Friday.

Laugh more: Funny Weekend Jokes

I haven't been this excited about bagel Friday since last bagel Friday.

In a world full of plain bagels, be everything.

Walking into the weekend with a bagel in my hand.

You bread-a believe it!

I loaf you so much, bagel Fridays.

Nothing spreads more joy than a bagel on Friday.

A bagel on Friday keeps the grumpy away.

You are the cream cheese to my bagel.

My bagel may be plain, but my personality isn’t.

Oh bagel, you truly do have everything I need.

You know what they say: The early bird gets the first pick of bagel on bagel Friday or something like that.

You know what they say: The early bird gets the first pick of bagel on bagel Friday or something like that.

EXTRA: Bagel Shop Names

  • Bagel Bake
  • Bagelture
  • Lox Delicious
  • Bagelpost
  • The Bagel Top
  • Bagelview
  • True Toast
  • Bagel Now
  • York Bagel
  • Top Bagel

Summary

Bagels are best shared with friends and families same as these jokes. You will have a great time with this. 

If you want to take a look at other jokes, we have more for you!

57+ Hilarious Birthday Jokes and Puns Ideas 2022

29-01-2022 · Happy birthday on this very important day to a very important man! Laugh more with our ... Animal Jokes Autumn Jokes ball Baseball Jokes Car Jokes Puns Cat Jokes Puns Christmas Jokes Puns Classic Jokes Clean Jokes Puns Coffee Jokes Coronavirus Jokes Country Jokes Doctor Jokes Fall Jokes Family Friendly Jokes Famous People Quotes Farm Animal ...

29-01-2022

Do you need birthday jokes?

Somebody is turning a day older today! There’s always someone in your friend list who is celebrating their birthday and what’s better than greeting them with a funny joke when the clock strikes midnight. Be the first one to let them know that you remember their special day! Send them a joke, make them laugh, and let them know you love them even in these littlest things!

We seriously have more for you, so don’t stop here. Check out all these other jokes too:

  • Best Travel Jokes
  • Funny one-liner jokes

Birthday Jokes One-liners

We love long funny jokes but we love one-liner jokes better because they’re easy to remember and easier to share with friends! Check out all these one-liner jokes and save them until one of your friends or family celebrates their birthdays. Send it to them then and see how you make them laugh!

Laugh more: FUNNY Kid Birthday Jokes

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

One-liner birthday jokes

Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?

A: Because people kept toasting him!

Best wishes on your big 40, you cute little shorty!
Best wishes to the 30th birthday boy! Because it’s great to be a kid at heart!
My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?

A: Because it was marble cake!

Cute Birthday Jokes

50 is a thrifty age! Start saving for retirement and golden age vacations!
Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When it’s been sliced.
I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you’re set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.

Your golden years are here.

Best wishes on your 60th birthday!

Golden Jokes for Birthdays

Birthday Jokes for Dad

You Dad is probably one of the best people in the world, the person who loves you unconditionally and you should want nothing but to show them how much you love them in return as well. Dads appreciate the little things, really. Even when you don’t give them anything as long as they know that you remember is enough for them Why don’t you go the extra mile and send them one of these dad jokes? Go ahead! They’ll love it for sure!

My dearest Dad,

I know today is your birthday, but it’s not a real holiday so I’m not too excited about it. Just kidding. Happy birthday on this very important day to a very important man!

Laugh more with our FUNNY Holiday Jokes for a jolly mood 

What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?

You can have your cake and eat it too.

Dad, you’re not 52—you are only 22, with 32 years of experience!

Happy birthday!

It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies. That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime.

They say that with age comes wisdom.

So, happy birthday to one of the wisest people I know!

Birthday Dad Jokes

As a child, I thought my dad is a superhero. Now, the time has changed and I doubt your superman capability now but still, I know you are great.

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

“Oh, I don’t know”,

she said. “Just give me something with diamonds”.

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

Here’s to you on your birthday,

Dad, and every gray hair on your head. After all, I helped to contribute to those. Happy birthday!

Birthday Jokes for Teenager

Your birthday is often that one day in your life when you’re free to do what you want and get what you want, although this depends on your parents and friends! If your friend is turning a leaf older today, make sure that you know and that you give them some good fun. Send them a text, a joke, a pun, or a video greeting. We have here some birthday jokes that will look good as captions for your birthday posts with your friends.

Laugh more: Funny Fall Jokes

Why are birthdays good for you?

People who have the most live the longest.

Teenager Birthday Jokes

Q: What goes up and never comes down?

A: Your age!

Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?

A: No, they both burn shorter!

Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?
A: He shellabrates!

What do you always get on your birthday?

Another year older.

Birthday Jokes for Friends

Summary

We’re at the end! I can’t believe we’re already here, that seems like moments ago! Oh well, we hope you got the best jokes that you can share the next time your friend, your dad, and whoever has a birthday can laugh at your jokes.

Since you stayed until the end, here are more jokes to give you more giggles and laughter:

118 Dumb And Stupid Jokes That Are Actually Funny! 2022

02-04-2022 · Laugh more: Funny Bagel Puns What did the dalmatian say after lunch? “That hit the spot!” Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted! Why should you not let a bear operate the remote? He will keep pressing the paws button. What is a robot’s favorite snack? Computer chips. What’s the biggest moth in the world? A mammoth.

02-04-2022

Are you looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up? Stupidity is always funny! Yeah, it can be embarrassing sometimes, but most of it is hilarious! Imagine having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so funny as well. That’s like our jokes! We have compiled the most stupid jokes that are funny. Have fun and share with friends.

Everyone seems to agree that today’s youth are dumber than before. It is because of their access to the world’s information in just one click! Search engines have made us cognitively sluggish. Laugh it out with our funny dumb jokes.

Funny Stupid Jokes For Kids

Take a look at these stupid jokes to tell your friends. Your little ones will definitely enjoy these jokes. 

What has ears but can’t hear?
A cornfield.

What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield.

How do you catch a whole school of fish?
With bookworms.

Laugh more here: Funny Animal Jokes for Kids

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling!

Laugh more: Funny School Jokes

Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten.

What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner’s on me.

Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around.

What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.

Why do fish live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.

Why do milking stools only have three legs?
‘Cause the cow’s got the udder!

Laugh more: Funny Cow Jokes

Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!

What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!

Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad.

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He was looking for his buddy Pluto.

What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.

Where do you learn to make banana splits?
At sundae school.

Laugh more: Funny Banana Jokes

What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!

What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A stega-snore-us.

What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.

What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest.

Laugh more here: Hilarious Police Jokes

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!

How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints!

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration.

What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister!

Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!

Laugh more: Funny Bagel Puns

What did the dalmatian say after lunch?
“That hit the spot!”

Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!

Why should you not let a bear operate the remote?
He will keep pressing the paws button.

What is a robot’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.

What’s the biggest moth in the world?
A mammoth.

What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.

What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit? A bunny ribbit.

What type of markets do dogs avoid?
Flea markets!

What do music and chickens have in common?
Bach, Bach, Bach!

How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
You listen for coughin’ in his coffin.

What animal has more lives than a cat?
Frogs because they croak every day!

What’s the difference between a well-dressed person on a unicycle and a poorly dressed person on a bike?
Attire.

Laugh more here: Funny Cycling Jokes

When does a joke turn into dad jokes?
When it becomes apparent.

Laugh more: Funny Dad Jokes

Stupid Jokes For Teens

Have you ever heard the stupidest jokes ever? We have even more jokes that are stupid but funny to share with you. Take a look at this collection of jokes and have a good time!

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

What do you call a quiet laugh in Maui?
Aloha.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

Laugh more: Funny Money Jokes

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!

How do we know the ocean is so friendly?
It waves.

Why did the man run around his bed?
He was trying to catch up on sleep!

Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!

Laugh more here: Funny Dungeons and Dragons Jokes

What do you call my cheese?
Nacho cheese.

Laugh more: Funny Cheese Puns

Why did the picture get arrested?
It got framed.

Name something red that is bad for your teeth.
A brick.

What is the name of the penguin’s favorite aunt?
Aunt Arctica.

Which dog likes taking bubble baths?
A shampoodle.

What is a plumber’s least favorite vegetable?
Leeks.

What is a plumber’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.

How do mountains stay warm in winter?
Snowcaps.

Laugh more: Funny Weather Jokes

Why do artists constantly feel cold?
Because they’re surrounded by drafts.

Laugh more: Funny Cold Jokes

What do you call an old snowman?
Water!

Why are ghosts, such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.

Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.

Laugh more here: Funny Dance Jokes

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

Why wasn’t the letter delivered?
It was stationary.

Why did the traffic light turn red?
It had to change in the middle of the street.

How can you tell when a bike is thinking?
Their wheels are turning.

How can you tell when a bike is thinking? Their wheels are turning.

What events do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.

Laugh more here: Funny Spider Jokes

Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.

What do kids wear when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers.

Stupid Jokes For Adults

Of course, we also have funny jokes that are stupid for adults. Sometimes, it gives us so much headache to think, so what about just rest for a while and take a look at the dumbest jokes ever made.

Why did the foreman fire the worker at the banana factory?
He kept throwing away all the bent ones.

What did one penny say to another penny?
“We make cents.”

Laugh more: Funny Finance Jokes

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
“Something between us smells!”

Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?
For tocking too much.

Why do Norwegian ships come with barcodes?
So when they return to port they can Scandanavian.

What do you call a dishonest reptile?
A crookodile.

What do you call a dishonest reptile? A crookodile.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

Laugh more: Funny Pasta Jokes

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions?
I do.

My brother and I often laugh about how competitive we are.
But I laugh more.

Laugh more here: Hilarious Brother Jokes

What’s red and shaped like a bucket?
A blue bucket painted red.

Laugh more here: Funny Painting Jokes

Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.

Laugh more: Funny Soccer Puns

What did the zero say to the eight?
“Nice belt!”

Why is the grass so dangerous?
It’s full of blades.

Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?
All those fans.

Why do bees have sticky hair?
Their honeycombs.

Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

Laugh more: Funny Cakes Jokes

Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

Did you hear about the tree that worked as a photographer?
He was talented at photo-synthesis.

Laugh more: Funny Biology Jokes

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger…
And then it hit me.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
“Robin, get in the car.”

A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.
Thank goodness it was a soft drink.

What did one goldfish say to the other while in their tank?
“Do you know how to drive this thing?”

Laugh more: Funny Fish Jokes

What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.

What’s the name of that frog cowboy?
Hopalong Cassidy.

What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint Nickel-less.

Why do pregnant horses run faster than other horses?
Because they have two horsepower.

Laugh more: Funny Animal Jokes

Stupid Short Jokes

Another compilation of your stupidest jokes ever! These short jokes are easy to remember. You can share this with your friends for more laughs. 

What is the name of a witch that lies on the beach?
A sand witch.

Laugh more: Funny Beach Jokes

What is the name of a witch that lies on the beach? A sand witch.

Where do you take a boat with a cold?
The boat doc.

Why can’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they’d crack each other up.

Why can’t you trust stairs?
Because they’re always up to something.

Why was the bicycle lying down?
It was two-tired.

What did one hat say to the other?
“I’m going on a-head.”

A nuclear physics enthusiast went into a chip shop.
She ordered fission chips.

What’s Harry Potter’s favorite way to get down a hill?
Walking…JK, Rowling.

Laugh more: Harry Potter Jokes

What state has the most streets?
Rhode Island.

Why does underwear tell bad jokes?
They’re too brief.

Why did the dog want to become a doctor?
Because cats can.

How does a boat full of puppies move?
Doggy-paddles.

How does a boat full of puppies move? Doggy-paddles.

How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it.

What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.

Laugh more: Funny Apple Jokes

Stupid Jokes For Him

Want other stupid jokes to share with your guy friend? We got you covered. Read through these jokes and have a good laugh. 

When would you want a man’s company?
When he owns it!

How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?
They’re always coming early.

Boyfriends are like blue jeans.
They look good for a while but, eventually, they fade and have to be replaced.

What do a boyfriend and mascara have in common?
They both run at the first sign of emotion.

What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?
The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

It was so hot today…
I almost called my ex-boyfriend to be around something shady.

What do you call a man-made garbage?
Your ex-boyfriend.

What do you call a man-made garbage? Your ex-boyfriend.

I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.

You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.

You are like dandruff.
I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

Guess what’s on the menu?
Me-n-u.

You are just like my car.
You drive me crazy.

How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy?
Who cares?

Laugh more: Funny Cute Jokes

Summary

A terrible joke is sometimes simply a poor joke but these stupid jokes are so outrageously bad that they are hilarious. Here are some more jokes that you can laugh about. 

81 BEST Alaska Jokes That Are Absolutely A-Moose-ing! 2022

08-02-2022 · The lovely state of Alaska, known for its stunning landscapes, is one of the wildest places on the planet to explore! So, if you want to discover more, you’ve come to the perfect place. I’ve compiled a massive list of Alaska jokes and quotes below that will have you planning your next vacation to the Last Frontier in no time!

08-02-2022

The lovely state of Alaska, known for its stunning landscapes, is one of the wildest places on the planet to explore! So, if you want to discover more, you’ve come to the perfect place. I’ve compiled a massive list of Alaska jokes and quotes below that will have you planning your next vacation to the Last Frontier in no time! Not only can you use these Alaska quotes to help you plan your holiday, but they’re also great for people seeking Alaska Instagram captions!

We also have the best New York City jokes and since we are at it, here are my favorite New York City Songs.

Funny Alaska Jokes

With its towering snow-capped towers and icebergs taller than skyscrapers. Let’s enjoy the Alaska jokes that will surely bring you to the summit laughter in your lifetime. What are you waiting for? Read and share the fun with your pals. Here is the start of a big list of baked Alaska jokes! 

What do lesbians in Alaska sing?
What would you do ew ew in a Klondike bar?

What do lesbians in Alaska sing

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

My mate went to Alaska and fell in love with both a male and female bear…
He’s Bipolar..

Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn’t like fish?
Yeah, he just wasn’t inuit.

It gets cold in Alaska during the winter.
Juneau what do I mean?

Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?
Just for the halibut.

What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in Alaska and vacations in Antarctica?
A BIPOLAR BEAR

Read more: Funny Animal Jokes – From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats

What do you call an emotionally unstable animal who lives in Alaska and vacations in Antarctica

How do Russians drive to Alaska?
By bearing straight.

My roommate just told me he tried to walk to Russia from Alaska.
He pulled up short because he couldn’t get his Bering Strait.

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware?
I don’t know but Alaska.

Hilarious Alaska Puns

Looking for some hilarious Alaska puns to share with your pals before your trip to the state? Maybe you’d like a few smart puns to use as Alaska Instagram captions while you’re on vacation? Here are some of my favorite Alaska puns to help you enjoy your fantastic trip even more!

Laugh more: Bad Puns To Make Your Friends Cringe

Did Juneau that you’re my hero?

Anchorage Aweigh

Here we come a Wasilla-ing among the leaves so green.

Here we come a Wasilla-ing among the leaves so green

There’s no place like Nome.

A visit to Alaska is a Homer run.

Fort Yukon have whatever you like.

I always feel Whittier in Alaska.

Always use Port Protection.

Most Alaskans don’t keep their money in greedy banks, they keep it in Fairbanks.

Let’s play a game of Ketchican.

If the Ninja Turtles moved to Alaska, they’d live in Seward.

If the Ninja Turtles moved to Alaska, they’d live in Seward

Alaska Instagram Captions

Come and enjoy the expedition and exploration of the 49th state of America. Seeing glaciers is a perfectly typical Alaskan experience that will surely attract you to come back again and again. If you love nature in its raw form, this is the exact place of your dreams. It is one of the most exciting and stunning places you will surely enjoy. Check out our Alaska captions for Instagram.

Alaska is calling and I must go.

A bad day in Alaska is better than a good day anywhere else.

Chasing the Northern Lights.

Follow me to Alaska.

Alaska is my therapy.

Alaska is my state of mind.

To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.

To the lover of wilderness, Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world

Alaska: the last frontier.

On a hunt for the Northern Lights.

Living my best life in Alaska.

Alaska hair, don’t care.

Alaska Knock Knock Jokes

To tickle your funny bones, try our new up-to-date Alaska knock-knock jokes. It will simply create a wide grin on your face as you expand your creative imagination. Laughter will open doors with many joyful experiences that will truly give delight to your life.

Laugh more: Best knock-knock jokes in the world

Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Snow.

Snow who?


Snowcone with cherry syrup, please.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there? Snow.

Snow who?


Snow real way of knowing.

Snow real way of knowing

Knock Knock
Who’s there? Icy.

Icy who?


Icy you.

Knock Knock
Who’s there? Ina.

Ina who?


Ina minute I’m going to build a snowman.

Amusing Alaska Moose Jokes

Animal jokes are always popular, so we’re confident you’ll enjoy this collection of the greatest amusing moose jokes. Our collection of the funniest crazy Alaska moose jokes, elk one-liners, and cute moose sayings will keep your friends and family a-moose-d all summer.

Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy!

What happened to the 5 year old boy who won a moose calling contest at the Alaska Zoo in Anchorage?
He was shot to death by Sarah Palin!

What do you call a sleepy boy moose?
A bull dozer.

What do you call a sleepy boy moose

What do you call a moose that makes films?
The deerector.

What do you call a celebrity elk?
Famoose.

What do you call a moose that plays piano?
A moose-ician.

What do you call a moose who’s always late for work?
Unrelia-bull.

What do you call a moose that went to the optician?
Good eyed deer.

What do you call it when a moose tells a story?
A tall tail.

What do you call a composer who’s a moose?
Amadeus Moose-zart.

What do you call a composer who's a moose

What do you call a moose lying on its back?
Relaxed.

What did the moose say when the elk stole her chocolate?
How deer you!

Read more: Eggcellent Food Jokes and Puns that will Crack you Up

What did the moose name her daughter?
Elke.

What did the moose say when he realised he got the spelling on his shop sign wrong?
I’ve made a huge moose-take.

What game do moose play at sleepovers?
Truth or deer.

What brand of suitcase do moose use?
Antler.

What do moose say when they get stuck up a tree?
Elk me!

What do moose say when they get stuck up a tree

Glacier Jokes

Even if it’s freezing outside, we’ve come up with an innovative approach to brighten the mood and have some fun with our hilarious glacier jokes. From glaciers to ice shelves, as well as the snowflakes and hail that fall on us, ice forms some of nature’s most beautiful spectacles. Everyone will like this collection of ice puns.

What do you call a duck inside a glacier?
A quack in the ice.

Culturally no one in Alaska dates in the winter.
When asked why, one Alaskan replied, “We try, but it’s hard to break the ice.”

What do you call someone who steals a glacier?
An iceberglar.

Global warming is real. Last year in Antarctica, a 17-mile long piece of ice broke off a glacier and dropped into the ocean.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

What will you call a big broken glacier piece, floating towards the United Kingdom?
Iceburgh

Did you hear about that glacier off the coast of Italy?
It was a Romaine Iceberg

Did you hear about that glacier off the coast of Italy

Funny Cruise Jokes and Puns

Read on if you enjoy cruising and could need a good laugh. This collection of the funniest cruise jokes, puns, and even humorous things overheard aboard cruise ships is guaranteed to make you laugh!

Buoy are these views fantastic!

I haven’t got a crew.

Feeling nauti here in Alaska.

It’s a-boat time you took a vacation.

What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing. They just waved.

Did you hear about the red cruise ship and the blue cruise ship that crashed into each other at sea?
All the survivors were marooned.

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships?
Now everyone is jumping on board.

Did you hear the latest trend is installing trampolines on cruise ships

I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise.
It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.

What vegetable isn’t allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks

What’s it like working on a cruise ship?
It has its up and downs.

Alaska Cruise Quotes

Looking for Alaska funny quotes? Glaciers and landscapes in Alaska are mesmerizing! Making a lot of tourists visit the place. If you are planning to travel to Alaska then these Alaska quotes are perfect for you. Check it out now!

Laugh more: Pirate Jokes

I can’t a-fjord a trip to Alaska right now.

I can’t a-fjord a trip to Alaska right now

Relax and get a glacial

Anchorage Aweigh

Buoy are these views fantastic!

I haven’t got a crew.

It’s a-boat time you took a vacation.

Open the gates and seas the day.

Feeling nauti here in Alaska.

Feeling nauti here in Alaska

Northern Lights Captions

Seeing the Northern Lights should be at the top of your bucket list. After all, it is one of the world’s seven natural wonders. While seeing the Northern Lights in person is the greatest way to see them, you may share the experience with a friend by sharing images of the aurora borealis once you return home. So, in preparation for your upcoming trip to the north, you’ll want to take a look at these northern light captions!

“Then that’s what the Northern Lights are. All the lives that we’re not living.” – Adi Alsaid

“We all have great things on our bucket lists like skydiving, seeing the Northern Lights, etc, but what about simply falling in love? Isn’t that the most amazing thing we can do?” – Walt Whitman

“Nature is so powerful, so strong. Capturing its essence is not easy – your work becomes a dance with light and the weather. It takes you to a place within yourself.” – Annie Leibovitz

Laugh more: Funny Weather Jokes

“I’ve stood outside my house in Montana looking at the northern lights, crackling against the night sky. To me, that’s magic.” – Christopher Paolini

“No sky Leila had seen before could compare to the beauty she was seeing above her. It didn’t feel like some accident of nature but rather something that was purposefully unleashed on the world.” – Adi Alsaid

“I tried to imagine myself a long time ago, in the lands where these stories were first told, during the long winter nights perhaps, under the glow of the northern lights.” – Neil Gaiman

I tried to imagine myself a long time ago, in the lands where these stories were first told, during the long winter nights perhaps, under the glow of the northern lights

Summary

Whether you’re going on a trip to Alaska or live there, this is a state that looks fantastic in images, so finding the ideal Alaska quotation to go with your stunning photos is crucial! Matching these photos with the right quotes or captions may be the perfect post for you. You can be also creative and put some jokes in it that you think is the best. So go ahead and chuckle at these Alaska jokes, and if you have the opportunity, share them with your pals. With them, you’ll all have a terrific time! Everyone needs a good knee slapper now and then.

We also have other great collections of jokes that you might take a look at.

Related posts