Causes of Diarrhea and Frequent Bowel Movements- VyWhy

Last updated on 2021-12-18 13:33:18

2015-08-06

Pinpoint what’s behind your frequent dumps, and discover how to make them stop

You may not think much about taking a dump. For some, it’s just something you do every day, like brushing your teeth or tying your shoes. 

But what if you’re suddenly pooping 10 times a day? Different story.

It’s actually pretty common for adults in the U.S. to experience short-term changes in bowel frequency, says Princeton gastroenterologist Anish Sheth, M.D., author of What’s Your Poo Telling You? Recent dietary changes, for example, could increase your output.   

But if the problem persists—or reoccurs—the underlying cause could be serious. So here are the answers to your most urgent questions. 

(And for the smartest solutions to every problem in the book, check out The Better Man Project. You’ll learn how to shrink your belly, transform your diet, and have scorching hot sex!)

How many times a day should I be pooping?

There’s no hard-and-fast number for your number two, but most people make anywhere between three throne trips a week to three a day, says Jordan Karlitz, M.D., FACG, an assistant professor of medicine in the division of gastroenterology at Tulane University. 

However, that’s just a general guideline: What’s most important to be aware of is when you experience sudden changes to your regular pooping pattern. 

“If you’ve gone once a day your entire life, but you’ve now started going three or four times a day for the past couple weeks—even if it’s not explosive diarrhea—that warrants medical attention,” Dr. Sheth says. 

Related: What Your Poop Says about Your Health 

I don’t feel sick, so what’s wrong? If your bowels have been crazy for a few days, examine your diet. Common short-term culprits of loose, frequent stool include alcohol, caffeine, fructose, and artificial sweeteners like sorbitol, says gastroenterologist Dr. Karlitz. (You know, all the stuff you like.)

You might also notice a difference if you’ve been loading up on sources of insoluble fiber—like dark, leafy vegetables and whole-wheat flour—which softens your stool. 

(It’s time to separate fiber fact from fiction. Discover The Truth about Fiber.)

Taking new medications can affect your poop, too. Any type of antibiotic can upset the normal balance of good and bad bacteria in your GI tract, Dr. Karlitz says. 

But if you haven’t changed your diet or med regimen, you’ve likely contracted a short-lived illness that targets your bowels, like a stomach virus or food poisoning. You’ll likely just have to let that pass.

If your poop pattern doesn’t return to normal after 2 weeks—or shifts every few weeks or months—and you start experiencing blood, mucus, abdominal pain, fever, and nausea, see your doc, says Dr. Sheth.  

What will my doctor do?

Gas, bloating, joint pain, fatigue, and mouth sores all signal celiac disease, an autoimmune disease that occurs when your body reacts negatively to the protein gluten—found in ingredients like wheat, barley, and rye. If your symptoms match up, your doc could order blood tests to screen for celiac. (And if she doesn’t, bring it up to her.)

Related: The Truth about Gluten

If there’s blood in your stool, your doctor should order a colonoscopy, which searches your large intestine for colorectal cancer and inflammatory bowel disorders. 

Ace your exams? You might have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which causes abdominal pain, bloating, gas, diarrhea, or constipation. 

How do I stop pooping so much?

First, cut out potential diet culprits. Keep a food journal and log what you eat every day, plus any symptoms you experience, Dr. Karlitz advises.

If insoluble fiber is to blame, eat more soluble fiber—found in oats, beans, and apples—or pop a supplement like Metamucil or Benefiber. Soluble fiber absorbs water and takes on a gel-like consistency as it travels through your system, says Lee Baumann, M.D., the author of Clearing the Air: Art of the Bowel Movement. That means firmer, less frequent poops. 

If antibiotics are your problem, pop probiotics to restore your gut’s balance of good and bad bacteria. A 2012 review concluded that taking probiotics can reduce your risk of the runs by 42 percent. Find a probiotic with the strain Lactobacillus, like Culturelle. 

For run-of-the-mill stomach viruses, stick to an all-liquid diet until your squirts improve. Eating solid food too soon can spark more diarrhea and worsen dehydration. 

If you have IBS, you may have to experiment with your diet. Pay closer attention to what you eat every day, and note the foods that seem to aggravate your condition. Common trigger foods can include dairy, cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower and broccoli, and artificial sweeteners, but this is highly individual. Swedish research shows increasing physical activity can also improve IBS patients’ symptoms. 

Additional reporting by Julie Stewart 

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Soy alosexual, ¿qué significa? - Orientación sexual - Men's Health

26-01-2021 · La mayoría de las tendencias sexuales que conocemos –heterosexual, gay, bisexual, o incluso pansexual– se engloban en un término general conocido como …

26-01-2021
soy alosexual, ¿qué significa orientación sexual

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Durante muchos años, la mayoría nos hemos creído que solo existían dos o tres orientaciones sexuales, pero a medida que pasa el tiempo, también mejora nuestra comprensión del género y la sexualidad, y con ellas surgen nuevos descubrimientos. La mayoría de las tendencias sexuales que conocemos –heterosexual, gay, bisexual, o incluso pansexual– se engloban en un término general conocido como alosexualidad, que, en pocas palabras, es la orientación de una persona que experimenta atracción sexual de cualquier tipo. ¿Soy alosexual, qué significa? Un experto nos detalla varias cuestiones.

Soy alosexual, ¿qué significa?

Vaya por delante que la alosexualidad no se atribuye a ningún género, ni describe la profundidad, frecuencia o intensidad de la atracción sexual. Esto significa que una persona puede identificarse como alosexual independientemente de su identidad de género o de su expresión. Si acabas de caer en la alosexualidad, no te sientas mal: es un concepto bastante nuevo. “Es un término que sólo he visto en los últimos diez años”, cuenta a la revista Health la doctora Sarah Melancon, investigadora independiente que estudia sociología y sexología clínica. El término se desarrolló para describir lo opuesto a la asexualidad, o la falta de atracción sexual hacia los demás.

Es importante conocer el término alosexualidad para evitar que los demás piensen que los sentimientos sexuales son una parte “normal” de la vida, lo que puede deshumanizar a los asexuales. “Es una forma de explorar la asexualidad sin estigmatizar [a las personas as] simplemente por existir”, dice el Dr. Melancon. “Al crear estos conceptos y tener etiquetas por ahí, nos da una manera de tener una conversación”. La alectividad también ayuda a comprender mejor el espectro de la sexualidad. Mientras que la heterosexualidad y la homosexualidad se engloban bajo el paraguas de la alosexualidad, también lo hace la pansexualidad, o cuando alguien experimenta atracción por otros independientemente de su identidad de género o sexo. Sin embargo, las personas que se identifican como demisexuales o grissexuales se sitúan más bajo el paraguas de la asexualidad, ya que experimentan la atracción sexual sólo junto con una fuerte conexión emocional, o de forma muy limitada.

Aunque puede ser confuso saber cuándo, dónde y cómo utilizar el término alosexual, una buena regla general es preguntar a los nuevos conocidos cómo prefieren que se dirijan a ellos, y luego hacerlo en consecuencia. Si alguien te dice que se identifica como alosexual (o asexual, en realidad), después de leer estas líneas ya no vale poner cara de póker. Y, por supuesto, el conocimiento y la comprensión son pasos importantes para estar abierto a las identidades de género y sexualidad de otras personas que piensan de forma diferente a la tuya. Para saber más sobre la alosexualidad y el espectro de la sexualidad en general, nuestra sección de sexo y relaciones seguro ayuda...

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What Is Fascia — And How Treating It Can Make You Pain-Free

11-05-2019 · How Fascia's Involved: Tightness in muscles and surrounding fascia can cause joints to stiffen, making your body move in ways that can create long-term issues. An example: …

11-05-2019

For years, scientists researching pain, movement, and recovery had no interest in the weblike tissue known as fascia, which coats your muscles, nerves, and organs.

But things have changed. Researchers—and savvy trainers—now view something called fascia as your secret weapon both in and out of the gym. If you take care of it, your body will perform better while you’re working out and you’ll experience less pain overall. “Fascia is one of the most important and pervasive systems, because it connects every system together,” says Rebecca Pratt, Ph.D., a professor of anatomy at Oakland University.

If you've ever foam rolled, or if you use a Theragun, or if you've tried scraping therapy, then you've been treating your fascia, even if you didn't realize it. But if you want to take that treatment to the next level and really eliminate muscle pain and soreness, then you need to know how your fascia works.

The Science of Fascia

To understand how this critical tissue works, imagine an orange. The peel is your skin. Directly beneath that peel is a white, gauzelike substance that surrounds each orange wedge and ensures that the orange maintains its spherical structure. That gauzelike substance is your fascia, a connective wrap made of gelatinesque glycoproteins that soak up water, collagen, and various other cells. Its main job: to hold your muscles, joints, tendons, and bones in place.

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Fascia covers every muscle in your body, and when it tightens in the wrong places, it causes pain. You’ve felt this pain before, all those times you wrapped up a serious muscle sesh and could barely walk upstairs.

Much like a sport coat, the tissue surrounding your muscles can bunch, wrinkle, and stretch. And when it gets injured, it rebuilds as scar tissue, with fibers in a crisscrossing pattern. Fibers on healthy muscles and fascia all run in the same direction; when they crisscross, they bunch up even more and can pull and tug at joints.

Six Problems You Can Fix With Fascia

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There’s a good chance you’ve experienced this before, too, and you may have solved it with the most common method of realigning these fibers: foam-rolling. Doing so properly helps loosen damaged areas, relaxing and smoothing them. Take your fascial care to the next level with these strategies.

Headaches

How Fascia's Involved: Blame your desk job: That stabbing pain at your temples is often related to cranky neck fascia. When your head and shoulders shift forward instead of staying aligned with your spine, the muscles (and the fascia around them) at the base of your head tighten, while the ones that control your shoulders grow weak. Your pectoral fibers also tighten, pulling your shoulders further forward. The combo in this sensitive area leads to tension headaches.

Your Move: Strengthen your shoulder and back muscles and open your chest all at once with seated rows. Aim to do 3 sets of 12 at least 3 times a week.

A Lack of Athleticism

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How Fascia's Involved: Contrary to what your body tells you some days, your days as a terrific athlete may not be long gone. But some days, they certainly feel like they're gone, mostly because you haven't trained your fascia. Researchers recently discovered that fascial tissue stores more kinetic energy than any other type of tissue. In fact, the springiness of fascia (not powerfully muscled calves) is the driving force that allows kangaroos to make 30-foot leaps. Because of this relationship, experts think plyometrics training makes your fascia more durable and resilient by increasing its density.

Your Move: Forget fixing your fascia and actually strengthen it. Three times a week, spend up to 5 minutes doing agility ladder drills. Don’t have a ladder? Do 3 sets of 10 to 20 jump squats.

Chronic Foot Pain

How Fascia's Involved: Plantar fasciitis, or heel pain due to inflamed fascia in the sole of your foot, strikes 2 million people each year, especially runners. It’s often due to calf tightness—or flat feet.

Your Move: Roll your feet over a lacrosse ball for a minute each, ideally every
day. In addition to that, foam-roll your calves for up to 5 minutes each.

Goolia Photography

Back pain

How Fascia's Involved: Where your thoracic (middle) and lumbar (lower) spine meet is a nightmare zone. Restricted fascia anywhere—particularly in your hamstrings or quads—can pull on the fascia here. If you work a desk job, it likely means trouble in your psoas, a muscle in your hip flexors that lets you lift your knee and is vital to core strength.

Your Move: Because it’s located so deep in your pelvic region, releasing the psoas is challenging. Stretch your hip flexors (try pigeon pose), and foam-roll your hamstrings at least twice a week.

Trouble Moving After An Injury

How Fascia's Involved: After surgery or a severe injury, your body forms collagen-based scar tissue that can replace healthy fascia. The problem: Normal tissue fibers line up parallel to one another. Scar tissue develops in a haphazard way, limiting your muscles’ ability to lengthen and contract.

alvarezGetty Images

Your Move: Once the damaged area has healed, begin gentle massage techniques, like gliding the skin forward and back, then side to side, for several minutes a few times a day, realigning fascial fibers.

Joint Stiffness

How Fascia's Involved: Tightness in muscles and surrounding fascia can cause joints to stiffen, making your body move in ways that can create long-term issues. An example: Tight calves reduce your toes’ ability to flex toward your shin, changing your gait.

Your Move: Foam-roll or stretch any tense area right after each workout, since your muscles respond best when warm. Try to do three 30-second standing calf stretches (legs straight, heels down) daily.

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How Many Calories Does Sex Burn? Here's How to Find the Answer.

04-08-2020 · The results, which were published in the journal PLOS ONE, concluded that men burn 100 calories during the average sex session, while women burn about 69 calories. ( …

04-08-2020
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  • You've probably wondered how many calories you burn during sex, and some people claim it can burn 100 to 300 calories per session
  • But other research indicates that the answer largely depends on various factors, such as your weight and how vigorous your lovemaking session is

You’re in bed with your partner and you just finished a vigorous sex session. You’re hot and sweaty, worked past that side cramp you got while thrusting, and are convinced you just burned as many calories as you would at the gym. You figure you can skip the treadmill today since your sex workout—a.k.a sex exercises, a.k.a sexercises—got you plenty of cardio.

Eh… not to be the bearer of bad news, but you probably didn’t burn as many calories during sex as you think. Of course, it depends on the type of sex you’re having—specifically, how active you are during it, and how long you’re having it—but unless you’re really going at it for a couple of hours, odds are, it wasn’t that great of a workout.

But wanna find out just how much fat you're burning during sex? Here's what scientists have discovered over the years.

In 2013, scientists at the University of Montreal attempted to answer this question by asking 21 heterosexual couples to wear SenseWear fitness trackers during their lovemaking. The couples also ran on a treadmill for 30 minutes to compare their sexercise to actual exercise.

The results, which were published in the journal PLOS ONE, concluded that men burn 100 calories during the average sex session, while women burn about 69 calories. (Nice.) The researchers estimated that men burn roughly 4.2 calories per minute during sex, while women burn 3.1 calories.

Men may be more physically active during sex which potentially explains why they burn more calories, study author Antony Karelis. But the main reason, Karelis told Time, is that “Men weigh more than women, and because of this, the energy expenditure will be higher in men for the same exercise performed.”

In total, the number of calories burned during sex was far less than the number of calories men burned during exercise, which was about 276 calories. But while hitting the gym might provide a more intense workout, the researchers concluded that, “sexual activity may potentially be considered, at times, as a significant exercise.”

Plus, the results of the study were based on the average amount of time the couples had sex, which was about 25 minutes — so we can reasonably assume that the longer the session, the more calories can be burned. (Want to find out for yourself? Multiply the number of minutes you have sex by the researchers' 4.2 calories figure to get the approximate total number of calories you've burned.)

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But before you get too excited about that potential calorie burn, another study published in 2013 concluded the opposite: that sex really isn't much of a workout at all.

Published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the paper aimed to debunk certain weight loss-related myths, such as that sex can burn anywhere between 100 to 300 calories. This time, scientists used 1984 research published in JAMA Internal Medicine, which found that the average bout of sex lasted only six minutes. (This number seems to be far more in line with other research, which suggests that vaginal intercourse usually lasts between three and seven minutes long.) With this figure, they determined that a 154-lb., 30-something man only burns 21 calories during the typical sexual encounter.

In summation, if you’re trying to lose weight and you're hoping to replace gym time with sex, you may want to stick with your traditional workout routine. But that doesn’t mean intercourse doesn’t have real health benefits.

In addition to improving your mood, sex can also boost your immunity. People who have sex at least once a week have been shown to benefit from higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that protects you from illness, compared to those who didn’t get so lucky.

A healthy sex life can also reduce cancer risk in men. A large study in the British Medical Journal found that men who ejaculated at least 21 times per month were less likely to get prostate cancer than guys who only ejaculated four to seven times per month.

So yes, unfortunately, a tumble in the sheets doesn’t torch as many calories as you'd likely hoped. But hey, that shouldn't stop you from having more sex.

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Mia Khalifa: Being a Porn Star Was the Worst Time of My Life

25-03-2021 · By Daniel Davies. 25/03/2021. Former porn star Mia Khalifa says the three months she spent working in the porn industry was the worst time of her entire life. Speaking on Alexandra …

25-03-2021

mia khalifa

Former porn star Mia Khalifa says the three months she spent working in the porn industry was the worst time of her entire life.

Speaking on Alexandra Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast, Khalifa revealed that during her short porn star career, where she went viral for filming a scene that involved her wearing a hijab, she received an torrent of online abuse and was even sent death threats from ISIS.

Speaking about that time in her life, Khalifa said: "I don't know where I was because that is around the time I started disassociating and compartmentalising and pretending like things never happened to the point where I didn't talk about porn for the first like three years after, I just went quiet and never spoke about it.

"Every time I did an interview that was the one thing they were not allowed to ask me about, I refused to acknowledge that I did it and it wasn't until therapy that I realised how detrimental that is."

Since leaving the industry, Khalifa has undergone therapy, where she says she learnt that she couldn't keep "scooching things under the rug" and that to move forward she would have to address that period of her life "head on".

"It's that feeling of 'I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to bring attention to it', but I need to talk about it because I need to explain myself because everyone is misinterpreting the whole thing," she said.

"It's that catch-22 of not wanting to bring it up but needing to bring it up because it's the elephant in the room everywhere you go."

Although the famous video of Khalifia has been viewed millions of times, and means that to this day she's still one of PornHub's most popular performers, she says she made almost no money from the industry.

Speaking about the flat she was living in at the time, she said: "It was disgusting, it was so bad, it was cockroach infested, it was the worst time of my entire life.

"I have two million followers on Instagram, everyone thought I was living it up, that was not the case."

Khalifa now works as a sports presenter, live-streamer and cam girl. She also runs an uber-successful OnlyFans account, where she charges fans .99 (£8.85) a month to enjoy her exclusive content.

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The 16 Best Long Distance Relationship Sex Toys to Do It From Afar

16-05-2022 · Lovense is the long distance sex toy manufacturer. In fact, all of their toys connect to an app, allowing either you or your partner to control the toy from thousands of miles away. The Hush is...

16-05-2022
young woman receiving flower bouquet while having a video call with her love

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At some point in your life, you may find yourself in a long-distance relationship. Living apart from your partner can be surprisingly fulfilling, but the distance can also pose a host of new challenges, including how to keep your sex life hot when physical touch isn't on the table.

Texting each other sexy messages and photos is great. So is FaceTime sex. But there's also an ever-growing category of app-controlled sex toys that your partner can control from anywhere in the world. (The category is known as teledildonics: a fancy word for long-distance sex toys.) Picture this: You're video calling your loved one with a vibrating prostate massager in your butt, and your partner says, "I'm going to make you cum in three, two, one." Then they turn up the knob on the app, the vibrations intensify, and you orgasm—while they're watching it happen on their laptop. Not only might you feel more connected, but if you're into power play, there's a fun Dom/sub dynamic to explore with teledildonic toys.

Using a long-distance sex toy might not be the same as having sex with your partner in the same room, but hey, it's something. Plus, you can always use these toys on your own, which means your masturbation game is going to level up, too. (And let's face it: You might be jerking off a little more often than normal if your partner just moved to another city.)

If you're in a long-distance relationship, you don't have to wait for your next IRL visit to share a sexual experience with your partner. The 16 sex toys on this list are perfect for couples in LDRs. Enjoy!

The Best Long Distance Relationship Sex Toys:

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Best Beginner Vibrating Butt Plug

Ditto Vibrating Butt Plug

We-Vibe's We-Connect app makes their sex toys ideal for long-distance play. The Ditto is their 3-inch vibrating butt plug. Its slim shape, flexible neck, and un-intimidating size make it comfortable to wear and fun to explore with.

Best Advanced Vibrating Butt Plug

Hush Vibrating Butt Plug, 4 Inch

Lovense is the long distance sex toy manufacturer. All of their toys connect to an app, allowing you or your partner to control the toy from thousands of miles away. The Hush is their vibrating butt plug. We love it because it seems to have stronger vibrations than the majority of vibrating butt plugs currently on the market.

Best Love Egg

Lush 3 Love Egg Vibrator

Love eggs don't get enough love! These knob-shaped vibrators are designed to sit inside the vagina and stimulate the whole clitoral network, including the G-spot, vaginal wall, and labia. This app-controlled love egg is great for long-distance play—and, as one reviewer on Lovehoney pointed out, has a nifty "alarm" setting: "It's a comfortable toy so you're able to wear it while out and about or while you're sleeping," they wrote. "The alarm setting makes for a good wake up call!"

Best Male Masturbator

Max 2 Male Masturbator

This app-controlled masturbation sleeve has unique vibrating and constricting abilities, so it'll feel like your partner is giving you a handy from across the globe. For a truly futuristic experience, you can sync up your Max 2 with your partner's Max, Max 2, or Nora device from Lovense and the two toys will respond to each other's movements.

Best Sexy Accessory

Vagina Sleeve

If you really miss P-in-V penetration, Lovense also makes a vagina sleeve for the Max 2.

Best Rabbit Vibrator

Nora

This is Lovense's Nora, an app-controlled rabbit vibrator that can sync to other Nora, Max, and Max 2 devices. Rabbit vibrators are designed to deliver internal and external stimulation simultaneously, with the longer arm providing G-spot love and the shorter arm hitting the external clitoris.

Best Panty Vibrator

Moxie Clitoral Panty Vibrator

Moxie is a wearable clitoral vibrator designed to fit discreetly into the user's underwear. Hot. It stays in place with a magnetic clip and provides powerful-but-quiet vibrations.

Best Wearable Vibrator

Chorus

This hands-free, app-controlled vibrator for vulva-owners provides internal and external stimulation at the same time. You can control it via the We-Connect app, or—the next time you get to see each other in person—try keeping it in during P-in-V penetration. "I thought that maybe it might get in the way or make things uncomfortably tight [during penetration] but neither is the case," one five-star reviewer wrote on Amazon. "In fact, I enjoy the feeling of a little extra pressure from having this in me at the same time as my partner. It does take a bit of adjusting to get the right fit but luckily it is highly adjustable."

Best Clit-Sucking Vibrator

Melt

Clit-sucking vibrators, which use suction technology to simulate oral sex, are all the rage these days. This app-controlled version from We-Vibe happens to be waterproof, in case you or your partner wants to use it in the shower.

Best Prostate Massager

Vector

The Vector is an app-controlled prostate massager that stimulates the prostate internally and externally through the perineum. From Zachary Zane's review of the Vector for Men's Health: "It felt amazing, better than other prostate massagers because of the external perineum vibrations. Without applying pressure to your perineum, the Vector would have been fine, just like every other good prostate massager. But having both the internal and external pressure together compounded to create an intense full-body orgasm that you can’t get with just your run-of-the-mill vibrating butt plug. You need both to really shake things up."

Best Vibrating Cock Ring

Mighty One

Cock rings can help you maintain longer, stronger erections by trapping blood in the shaft of your penis. This one from Satisfyer vibrates, too, and the Satisfyer app lets your partner control it from anywhere in the world. You can also connect the app to Spotify or Apple Music and have the vibrations sync with the beat of any song.

Best Customizable Vibrator

Nova 2

The problem with some rabbit vibrators is alignment; depending on the user's anatomy, the internal and external arms may not line up to hit your sweet spots at the same time. That's why we're huge fans of the Nova 2, which has two adjustable arms so you can customize its shape to your heart's content—plus, some super-powerful vibrations and app-controlled capabilities.

Best Date Night Activity

Date Night Kit

If one of you has a penis and the other has a vulva, this is the date night kit for you. You get the We-Vibe Nova and the We-Vibe Pivot—a vibrating cock ring—in one nifty package.

Get ready for power play...in more ways than one. This vibe is app-controlled, so one partner can control the other's toy. It's also a wand massager: a type of vibrator known for packing tons of power in that rounded head.

Most Unique Toy

Create Your Own Penis Molding Kit

Your long-distance partner may not have access to your actual penis, but they can have a replica. This DIY kit, available in various colors, lets you make a vibrating dildo in the exact shape of your peen. It's a great unique gift idea!

Best for Masturbation

Egg Male Masturbators - 6 Pack

It isn't always easy to schedule partnered sex sessions in a long-distance relationship, especially if you're in different time zones. Thank heavens for masturbation! These squishy "eggs" fit over your penis to switch up the sensations when you jerk off.

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The 50 Hottest Sex Tips All Women Wish You Knew

16-03-2015 · Men's Health presents the best 50 sex tips, sex advice, and sex moves, collected over the years after having surveyed tens of thousands of women …

16-03-2015

Over the years, we’ve surveyed tens of thousands of women about their wants, needs, desires, and wishes—in bed and out. And they’ve eagerly answered our questions. All of them. At length. In that same time, we’ve also talked to sex researchers, therapists, surrogates, and aficionados. So we’re confident when we tell you that if you want a better sex life, this list is required reading. 

Say the Hottest Word
The hottest word you can say to a woman in bed? "You." Say it often. It's the difference between "that feels wonderful" and "you make me feel wonderful."

Increase Contact
In the doggy-style position, you can increase clitoral contact by having her lift her butt up or spread out your legs to move down so you can touch the supersensitive vaginal wall. Then reach around to play with her clitoris using your fingers. (Use a small vibrator for extra intensity.)

Explore New Areas
Explore new regions. The base of her spine is Sensation Central. Gently stroke and kiss her belly just above the pubic hairline. Sex becomes about discovery, not a destination.

Be Flattered If She Ignores Her Cell
An obvious sign she wants you: Her cell phone rings and she doesn't answer it. And she turns off her ringer immediately.

Add a Little Danger
Go canoeing or hiking to spice up your sex life. The point is to add a distinct but manageable touch of danger to the day. It will stimulate dopamine in her brain, which can trigger her sex drive.

Buy Her Favorite Candy
When you plan to go to the movies, buy her favorite candy in advance.

Cool Her Off with Peppermint
Get naked! Pour peppermint schnapps in her belly button. Sip it. Then kiss her breasts and blow on the spots you kissed. The peppermint schnapps and air will cause a cool sensation and heighten arousal.

Reference a Magazine
Want to try something new in bed? Reference something sexy you saw in a magazine (or in a list of 50 Best Sex Tips). That way, you can ask your partner, "Did you ever think of doing that?" without pointedly saying, "This is what I want."

Say Hi with Kisses
Always greet your girlfriend with kisses.

Avoid Her Turnoffs
New research on female arousal says avoiding her turnoffs is just as important as hitting her hot spots.

Seduce Her with Numbers
Seduction by the numbers. Buy a half-inch camel-hair paintbrush at the art-supply store, dip it in chocolate sauce, and have her paint numbers on her body. Find your way in order by using your fingertips and mouth.

Don't Ditch Friends and Family
Stay connected to those who know you best. You're more than twice as likely to meet a potential girlfriend through a friend or family member than in a bar, at the gym, or on the street.

Keep Doing What You're Doing
Unlike a man, a woman can lose an orgasm even as it's happening—any sort of change can ruin the moment. So when it happens, keep doing exactly what you're doing.

Master the Stop-Start Technique
A tried-and-true method of lasting longer in bed: The stop-start technique. Pay attention to when you’re approaching your point of no return, and then pause the action for a while to calm yourself back down. That doesn’t mean flip on the TV—instead, lavish attention on her for a few minutes, to bring her closer to your point of arousal.

Act Like a Keeper
Be the gentleman during Boys' Night Out. Sip while they chug, talk while they scream, smile sanely when they're laughing so hard that Sam Adams is streaming out of their noses. You’ll be identified as the keeper in the crowd.

Request a Steamy Netflix Movie
Add a steamy, woman-friendly film to your Netflix queue—In the Cut, The Thomas Crown Affair (the 1999 version), or our favorite, A History of Violence—and use the sex scene as a conversation catalyst.

Get Immediate Feedback
To receive immediate feedback during oral sex, place your middle finger on her perineum, the quarter-size spot just below her vagina. When you're working the right place, the perineum will involuntarily contract.

Find Her A-Spot
Some sex researchers believe there’s something called an A-Spot, which is further up inside the vagina from the G-Spot, and might facilitate female ejaculation. How to reach it: Place both index and middle fingers inside her, and stick out your thumb as if you're hitchhiking. It'll pull your fingers more snugly against her vaginal walls, stimulating both the A-spot and G-spot simultaneously. Then use your thumb to also stimulate her clitoris, and gently twist your hand.

Go Slower for a Faster Response
If your girlfriend takes a long time to reach orgasm during oral sex, don't go faster—it won't help her reach orgasm any more quickly. Instead, slow down. The gentler, slower, and more consistent you are, the quicker she'll arrive.

Play an Intramural Sport
Join an intramurals sports league. Team play encourages what sociologists call "situational generalization"—in other words, positive circumstances help people click

Break Up, Don't Cheat
Most women would rather you break up with them than cheat.

Turn Her On with Breakfast
The first few times a woman sleeps over, you owe her breakfast. "When you cook for somebody, it says, 'You're worth my time,' and that's the biggest turn-on of all," says Martha Hopkins, author of Intercourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.

See How Intensely She Kisses Back
A make-out session is a prerequisite to a sexual proposition. Pay attention to how intensely she's kissing back. You want the "I want to eat you alive, starting with your head" kind of kiss, not the sweet little "I'm not really a dirty girl" kind.

Hug Her from Behind
She loves it when you hug her from behind and whisper in her ear.

Use Your Pillows
Increase clitoral contact in the missionary position by placing two or three pillows under her butt to lift it off the bed at an angle. You'll rub against her more when thrusting.

Even Nice Girls are Bad
Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

Boost Her Confidence
Compliment what she feels good about and cares about—her hair, shoes, singing voice, work triumphs, and so on. A confident sex partner is an adventurous sex partner.

Enjoy Her Lingerie
Few guys know how much a woman loves to be stroked with her bra and panties still on, so don't rush to get her naked.

Look in the Mirror
Visualization helps women warm up. Bring her body to life by seducing her in front of a full-length mirror, and then stroke her shoulders, arms, and hips as you describe what you like about each part.

Don't Ask Complicated Questions
During sex, never ask "What do you like?" To climax, a woman has to let go. Asking complicated questions can inhibit the progress.

"Fine" isn't Enough
"Fine" is never an appropriate response when she asks you how she looks.

Heighten Her Arousal with Smell
Spray a touch of the cologne that she loves on the sheets. A study by Indiana University found that women who fantasized while smelling a popular men's cologne were more aroused than while smelling women's cologne or a neutral odor.

Focus on the Details
Words she loves to hear: "That freckle is beautiful." Focus on unique details about her, and she'll know you haven't said the same thing to 47 other women.

Go to a Music Festival
Attend music festivals. "The rhythmic pulse of music lets listeners synchronize with one another, which can increase group cohesion," says Michael Cunningham, Ph.D., a psychologist and professor of communication. Music festivals attract a more diverse crowd than concerts, because of the different acts. Visit festivalfinder.com for events near you.

Put the Porn on Mute
Watch porn together without the sound on. Instead, you two provide the dialogue. Sure, you'll miss the snappy plumber-housewife banter, but you'll learn how to talk erotically, so it's educational. It's also fun, you're both invested in it, and it can help reveal fantasies.

Get Rid of Your Bedroom TV
Throw the TV out of the bedroom. It sucks up time and takes focus away from what the room is for.

Let Her Dress Up
She'll love you if you plan the occasional dress-up dates and impromptu weekend getaways.

Clean Without Her Asking
Do some impromptu cleaning, without her asking. Seduction is a day-long event, and the less she has to worry about, the more she can relax and have a good time.

Read Her Something
Read to her. It doesn't have to be erotica. It's an intimate activity that makes her focus on your voice.

Look for Nonverbal Cues
During foreplay, watch and listen for nonverbal clues—moans, thrusts, gasps. The better you're able to read her, the more likely you are to please her.

Keep Your Room Warm
Egyptian cotton and dimmer switches can't hurt, but your love chamber's thermostat is just as important. Imagine the ideal day at the beach. You want it just warm enough that she's happy to shed a layer or two, but not so hot that the two of you will end up drenched once you exert yourselves.

Harder and Faster isn't Always Better
Harder and faster isn’t always better. In the missionary position, barely penetrate her vagina or focus on shallow thrusts. Sometimes, let your penis rest just inside her. And occasionally remember to use it outside her vagina.

Make Her Feel Sexy After Sex
Tell her she's beautiful after sex. Women feel disheveled: messy hair, makeup smudged, clothes asunder. Make her feel sexy afterward, and you’re laying the groundwork for a repeat performance.

Ditch the Script
Tell your girlfriend or wife you want to go three sack sessions sans penetration. Ditching the same old script—foreplay, sex, cuddling—will help your creative instincts spring to life.

Rest Your Hand on Her Knee
When you're sitting next to your girlfriend or wife in the car, touch her nonsexually. Rest your hand a few inches above her knee. It's intimate, but not obviously sexual, so she won't think you're just looking for action at the end of (or during) the ride.

Keep Tongue Action to a Minimum
When kissing, a little tongue action is good, but don’t go crazy. Guys are notorious for tonsil spelunking, so stay in the front of her mouth.

Bring Her Close to Climax Before Sex
Use your hands to bring her close to climax before penetration, which will make an orgasm during intercourse much more likely. Here’s a new way to use your hands: Prop yourself up with pillows and have her sit so that she's facing away from you and leaning back against your chest. Reach around and use your fingertips or the flat of your hand along and between her legs in up-and-down, side-to-side, and figure-8 moves.

Talk About Your Favorite Moment
After sex, rather than offering an offhand platitude, mention something specific you love about her. Better yet, talk about a mind-blowing moment to let her know it was worth remembering.

Make a Sex Reservation

Make a reservation for sex. Tell her what you're going to do after you carry her over the threshold of the new house, or detail your intentions for the outdoor shower after your day at the beach. It'll plant some passion-packed seeds for later.

Unleash a New Skill

If you've got a new sexual skill, by all means, break it out. But do so with respect for the mood, and for her reaction; if it's not working, let it go.

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8 Women on Having Sex With an Ex - Sex With Ex True Stories

16-07-2019 · 4. “He clearly still had some feels”. “I’ve hooked up with a couple of my exes afterwards. The sex was great and I had no regrets. It was a little awkward afterwards in one case when he ...

16-07-2019

Breaking up is never easy. In the immediate aftermath, you may never want to set eyes on your ex again. But once you’ve shouted your final insults and slammed the front door, would you consider walking back into someone’s life…or, indeed, their bed?

As cliché as having sex with your ex may be, that doesn’t stop oh-so-many of us going back for more. Here's what eight women have to say about what it was like having sex with an ex. (Some of these are NSFW!)

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1. “He finished extremely quickly”

“A couple of months after we had broken up, we decided to meet for a catch-up. He picked me up in his car, and we were driving around the small town we lived in. He parked in a secluded spot and I started to give him a blow job, but he finished extremely quickly.

“I don’t regret it, but afterwards, it felt a bit awkward because he finished so fast. I think there had been a lot of sexual tension that built up, mainly on his part.

“There were no feelings there when we first got together. It was my first proper boyfriend so I felt like I was still learning a lot about relationships and kind of experimenting.

“I went to college and moved on pretty soon after that. He did try to contact me a few times, but I just wanted to move forward with my life. I felt like he was from a different chapter of my life and I was starting a new one.” – Chantelle*

2. “I didn’t feel the passion”

“Ex-boyfriend who was long distance, when we saw each other in person we decided to have our 'final goodbyes.' It wasn't great, I didn't feel the passion with him anymore, and it really affected the overall experience. I had a hard time getting turned on, and felt [too] lazy to put in the work, tbh. I don't regret it, but I wish it happened only once.” – [via]

3. “Everything was more electric”

“It was usually a case of ‘let's meet up to chat or clear the air or try to be friends’ and then we would get carried away. My bed, his bed, his sofa, his parents’ living room floor. It always starts with the hand on the leg, the look, kissing, pulling back and saying ‘we shouldn’t,’ followed by more kissing and then the inevitable.

“It was different, and at the same time so familiar. I feel like it’s fair to say that couples fall into a routine, favoring certain positions and the like. Even after we had broken up, we would fall back into those routines, because we knew it worked for us, but at the same time it is so different. Everything was so much more electric, all of the emotions of the previous few months come out so the sex is, on paper, the same, but it feels so different.

“I’ve slept with all of my exes of long term relationships in the time that follows the breakup, and in my experience they all follow this same rule. There’s always the post-sex cigarette and ‘that was amazing, and then there’s always the ‘we should never do that again,’ followed by the tearful goodbye—only to make the same ‘mistake’ a few days later.” – Eve*

Passionate lovers holding hands and kissing making love on bed

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4. “He clearly still had some feels”

“I’ve hooked up with a couple of my exes afterwards. The sex was great and I had no regrets. It was a little awkward afterwards in one case when he clearly still had some feels, but overall it was okay.” – [via]

5. “We stopped halfway through”

“Twice with the same guy. We dated for five or so years and had a horrible breakup but then eventually developed a friendship. The first time was really fun and nostalgic without any pressure for more. The second time, we both realized we still have this very strong connection but it's on such a platonic level that the sex itself was awkward and we both stopped halfway through.” – [via]

6. “The intimacy was gone”

“My ex and I slept together multiple times over the course of a year and a half after we broke up. Our split, although not a surprise, was very sudden, and within a few weeks of being apart, we caved in and spent the night together in the apartment we used to share–where I still lived at the time.

“It happened again a few months later, and then there was the week when we spent almost every night hanging out, even discussing the idea of living together again (nope, not getting back together–we skipped that step).

“The sex itself was amazing as we knew each other's bodies and likes so well, and I didn't once feel self-conscious or worry about what he thought of me. I knew he wanted me and that passion we had before was still there–it was what made our relationship so fiery and dramatic. But the intimacy was gone.

“The first time we slept together after the break-up he insisted he use a condom, immediately changing the atmosphere between us as it was clear he was already sleeping around. There was no cuddling, no exchanging ‘I love you’s, and actually not much conversation. It was like we knew it wouldn't last and it was just a fleeting moment of casual fun, and it added a touch of sadness to the whole experience.” – Serena*

Moment of romance

AleksandarNakicGetty Images

7. “We had mad physical chemistry”

“He dumped me for a prettier woman or maybe two, came back six months later. We had mad physical chemistry, but clearly I wasn't really who he wanted to be seen with in public.”

“Anyway, we ended up falling back into bed but I'd already met the man who was going to end up my [next] ex. And this guy now wanted to ‘commit’–he all but said he wanted to marry, that he'd learned his lesson and looks aren't everything, basically. I think, needless to say, I wasn't buying it. We made time for about another month before I finally called it off.” – [via]

8. “Like having sex with a stranger”

“It happened a month after we broke up. I was still in love in him and wanted to see him, which led to us having sex. The first time, I started messaging him and making general conversation. Basically, I was seeing whether it would be a possibility, but without saying that. We arranged to meet at his, and it just happened.

“It wasn’t as good as I imagined it would be, or as good as it had been in the past. The passion was missing. It was like having sex with a stranger. The relationship gave us a connection, but this didn’t have that, and didn’t get me off in the same way.

“It felt a little systematic, as we both knew why I was there. It’s not like when you’re in a relationship and just hanging out and it just happens. This was like small talk and let’s go.

"There wasn’t much contact afterwards, unless it was to arrange to meet.” – Sasha*

*Names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.


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